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Posts Tagged ‘Deer In Headlines’

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Excuse me; is that your nose in my business?

In Children and Family, Entertainment, Opinion, psychology, sociology, Uncategorized on May 8, 2013 at 2:43 pm

Deer In Headlines

By Gery L. Deer

On "Bewitched," nosey neighbor, Gladys Kravits (Alice Pearce) always got more than she bargained for with her cup of sugar!

On “Bewitched,” nosey neighbor, Gladys Kravits (Alice Pearce) always got more than she bargained for with her cup of sugar!

Fifteen years ago, I was shopping for my first house when I realized I had no idea exactly what it was I wanted. I grew up on a farm with a house smack in the middle of a valley of trees, pasture and corn fields so I was lacking some of the social necessities of being a ‘neighbor.’

I had no idea what it meant to have to “keep up with the Joneses,” and I never saw my mother so desperate for sweetener that she needed to bang on someone else’s door and demand they fill her measuring cup with sugar. I just didn’t get it. And, after a good fifteen years, I still don’t.

Growing up in such isolation taught me self-reliance and a good feeling for minding my own business. Even as an adult, as public as I might seem between my published work, music and television appearances, I tend to be a bit of an introvert. It’s not that I’m unfriendly, quite the opposite, but I just feel like I should keep my nose in my own cupboard and leave others to do the same.

For some, however, that’s not the case. When I first considered a suburban home, I visited several developments and each put me in mind of TV shows of years past. On TV, the houses looked all the same and there was always that one, nosey neighbor who just couldn’t keep off your grass.

Inevitably, I think of Gladys Kravits, the screeching butinsky from “Bewitched,” who spent her day tormenting her happily ignorant husband Abner all about the goings on at the Stevens home across the street. Granted, there were weird things happening on Morning Glory Circle (that’s the street where Samantha and Darren lived on the show), but rarely did those events directly impact the neighbors.

I tend to be an observer of human behavior, which helps me, I hope, to be a good writer. I’ve noticed over the years that the preoccupation of people with the activities of their neighbors can be close to a debilitating obsession.

Constant worry about the concerns of others is, to my mind, ridiculous and kind of neurotic. What if you did nothing all day but ponder such things like … When did John cut his grass – for the tenth time? How did Bob buy that above ground pool when he doesn’t make that kind of money? Do those people have anything else to do but remodel their house every month?

It can get out of control. I’m hoping that level of unwarranted curiosity isn’t the norm but the exception. I would hate to think that my comings and goings were costing a good night’s sleep to anyone but me. That’s not to say that even rural suburbs don’t offer some level of low-brow entertainment of a kind that would even sour Jerry Springer’s sensibilities.

Fortunately, where I finally chose to buy a home turned out to be the perfect fit for me. But I know people who live in suburbs where you can’t make a move without someone commenting on it or having an opinion to gossip about. I’m sure it happens everywhere, but I think people should spend their time worrying about their own lives and stay out of the affairs of others.

If the concerns of those around you occupy your thoughts more than your own actions, it might be time to take a look in a mirror instead of out the front window. Being nosey isn’t the same as being neighborly.

Thoughtful compassion for a neighbor with a sick parent or welcoming a new baby is not the same as feeling the compulsion to always see what’s going on next door. It’s important for people to know the difference and respect those boundaries.

 

Gery L. Deer is an independent business writer and contributor to the WDTN-TV2 show, “Living Dayton.” More at http://www.gerydeer.com

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For small business owners, image is everything.

In Business, Economy, National News, Opinion, Uncategorized on March 31, 2013 at 9:32 am

Deer In Headlines

Gery L. Deer

frabizOne of the reasons that many small and home-based business people are not taken as seriously by mainstream professionals is because they don’t take themselves seriously enough. Remember, you are no less important than any other business leader, no matter how large the company. But you have to believe it yourself before others will and show your confidence in your appearance and behavior.

Regardless of your workspace or the size of your business, your value is no less than that of someone working in a Fortune 100 company on the 26th floor of a skyscraper. But, how you are perceived by the outside world can make or break your livelihood. If, for example, you show up for a meeting with a new customer looking like you just rolled out of bed or stepped off the treadmill at the gym, people are less likely to give you the outward credibility you may be due.

Working from home has something of a stigma attached to it, put there by the mainstream professional world. Some business people believe that if you built your business from home, rather than tossing in thousands in overhead to have a posh office somewhere, you must be unprofessional and not be worth your weight. That, of course, is nonsense.

Unless you need retail space or a specific kind of work environment where people would be coming to you, build your business from home, have pride in what you do, and work your way up. Keep in mind that, at least for the last couple of hundred years, one of the most powerful people on earth has worked from home – 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, to be precise. But, with the exception of Thomas Jefferson, who is said to have met dignitaries in a bathrobe and slippers, most American presidents conduct themselves professionally and dress in contemporary business attire for their workday.

Unlike the concept of having a single kind of outfit when dressing for a job interview, work attire should become a staple of your wardrobe. Be consistent with what you wear so whenever you are out in a business-related situation you present an image of professionalism and you don’t look uncomfortable in the role.

We are talking more about basics here, not so much style. Style is a secondary level altogether and I am the last person to be able to offer that kind of advice. For men, you can’t go wrong with a navy blue business suit, white shirt and a tie. Ladies, keep it conservative. Knee-length skirt or slacks with a blazer, something along those lines.

You don’t need to shell out a lot of cash, either. Forget the $5,000 Armani suit. Local thrift stores hold a treasure trove of business attire, but it might take some legwork to find something modern and in the right size.

Professionals in the skilled trades like plumbers, electricians and contractors, aren’t immune to this problem, but full business dress might be overkill in most cases – except in specific circumstances. You will still want to put on a shirt and tie when attending important meetings or talking with finance or investment personnel.

It’s not just about clothing, however. The number one complaint I get about small business owners, particularly home-based professionals is a lack of punctuality. Nothing makes you look less professional than arriving late to an appointment, particularly if it’s the first time you’ve met with someone or when your presence is essential to the activity. And trust me when I say this, no one cares about your excuses.

My high school band director had a saying he used to drum into us on a daily basis, “To be early is to be on time; to be on time is to be late; and to be late is to be left behind.” What he meant was, be early to your appointments so you’re always prepared if you happen to have a delay or need to adjust for an unexpected change in the agenda. I recommend arriving at least 15 minutes early for any business appointment. Be brief, be bright, be consistent, be professional and you’ll find the success you are working toward.

 

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Christmas trees represent peace and goodwill

In Education, Entertainment, Health, Media, National News, Opinion, Politics, psychology, Religion, sociology on December 3, 2012 at 11:55 pm

Deer In Headlines

By Gery L. Deer

1836 sketch of a Christmas tree in America

1836 sketch of a Christmas tree in America

Are you offended by the term, “Christmas” tree? Or, on the other hand, maybe you get upset when someone refers to a “holiday” tree? Whatever your viewpoint, you might be surprised to learn that until the 1840’s, the Christmas tree was virtually nonexistent in America and largely considered a pagan symbol. Like many other Christian images and traditions, the tree was borrowed from earlier beliefs.

In fact, leaders of early New England Puritan societies preached against what they considered to be “heathen traditions,” such as caroling, decorating and so on. Around 1659, the General Court of Massachusetts declared any observance of the “sacred” December 25th holiday a penal offense.

Only church services were permitted and anything else, even the simplest ornaments or decorations, earned the offender punishment by fine or imprisonment. That mentality continued, for the most part, until the 19th Century when the first recorded display of a Christmas tree in America was by German settlers of Pennsylvania in 1830. So what happened? History.com offers this explanation.

“In 1846, the popular royals, Queen Victoria and her German Prince, Albert, were sketched in the Illustrated London News standing with their children around a Christmas tree. Unlike the previous royal family, Victoria was very popular with her subjects, and what was done at court immediately became fashionable—not only in Britain, but with fashion-conscious East Coast American Society.”

And with that, the Christmas tree was finally accepted in the New World. But why is the evergreen used? As it turns out, that story has ancient beginnings. During the winter solstice, ancient people collected evergreen boughs and placed them over entrances and windows. It was believed in many countries that the evergreen helped to keep away evil spirits, witches, demons and other supernatural bad guys.

The mysterious Druids, the Vikings and even the ancient Egyptians and the Romans had similar tree-related practices. Today, 16th Century Deutschland is credited with the origins of the modern Christmas tree, or tannenbaum, a German word meaning “fir tree.”  Devout Germans borrowed the ancient practice and added decorations to the trees, brought them into their homes and eventually added candles and gifts to the tradition.

In the 21st Century, the tree has finally become the centerpiece of Christmas holiday decor. Some of the largest trees are placed on the grounds of The White House in Washington D.C., and New York City’s, Rockerfeller Center. But as America grows increasingly secular regarding Christmas, people are starting to refer to “holiday” trees, effectively removing the Christian association from the emblem.

As odd as it might sound, given the varied history of the institution, it may be more accurate to share the image outside the Christian connotation. Since the tradition stems from such ancient beginnings, thousands of years before Christ, tree decorating is not uniquely Christian. Hard line Christians may be offended by this idea, but hopefully they can see the promise over the offense. Sharing the practice may open the hearts of those less cordial, regardless of their faith.

Whether to you it is truth or myth, the story of the birth of Christ is one of hope. Christmas is not about the decorations, songs or presents associated with the holiday. It’s about a spirit of good will to celebrate the hope that mankind can be better than he is the other 364 days of the year.

For the truly devout, deeply held faith cannot be rocked by the change in reference to one holiday image. But remember, respect for beliefs other than your own should be paramount if Christmas is to have any meaning at all. Only through respect, understanding and kindness can there truly be peace on earth and goodwill to… everyone. Have a Merry Christmas, a joyful Hanukkah and a happy and safe New Year.

 

 

 

 

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Jamestown Entrepreneur on Living Dayton, June 7

In Business, Children and Family, Economy, Entertainment, Local News, Media, Senior Lifestyle, State News, television on June 1, 2012 at 6:28 pm

DAYTON, OH – Jamestown, Ohio writer, entrepreneur Gery L. Deer of GLD Enterprises Commercial Writing will be the guest expert on the business segment of WDTN-TV, Channel 2, daytime show Living Dayton, beginning at Noon, on Thursday June 7.

Hosted by Nathalie Basha and Zuri Hall, Living Dayton is a live, one-hour lifestyle talk show featuring a variety of news and entertainment information from around the Miami Valley. The show premiered in February of 2012, replacing the noon-hour news program on Channel 2.

Best known locally for his work as a freelance columnist and author of the weekly opinion/editorial series, Deer In Headlines, Deer’s entrepreneurial career started in 1993 when he established one of the area’s first on-site, computer support companies – Deer Computer Consulting.

“This month on Living Dayton we’ll be talking about branding your small business,” Deer says. “Every business needs to build a brand and identity. Often, small business owners do this in a makeshift fashion and rarely get to a cohesive, marketable brand identity that will attract customers and keep their company sustainable.”

Deer’s firm, GLD Enterprises Commercial Writing provides concierge (on-demand) freelance business writing, public relations and marketing consulting services. In addition to working with small business, the company also provides marketing and publicity assistance to independent, self-published authors. The small business segment featuring Deer as guest expert will air on the first Thursday of each month. For more information go online to www.gerydeer.com or visit the Living Dayton page atWDTN.com.

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There Is Life After Bullying

In Children and Family, Education, Health, National News, Opinion, psychology, sociology, Uncategorized on October 19, 2010 at 10:12 am

dih-logo-SEA recent survey indicated that 77 percent of elementary and middle school students reported that they had been the victims of a bully at some time. The information also revealed that more than half of bullying incidents go unreported.

The recent suicides of several teens that had been tortured by bullies because of their sexuality have prompted a flood of media attention to the problem. I am concerned, however, that the public and the media are forgetting about other groups who have always been the targets of bullying including those with physical and mental disabilities, the impoverished and various ethnicities. I can relate to these issues – I know how they feel.

I was born with a serious congenital birth defect that had me in and out of the hospital for the first 20 years of my life. A multitude of medical issues combined with just being physically smaller than other kids my age made me the perfect target for bullies.

Rustin-Kluge-Anti-Bullying

Rustin-Kluge-Anti-Bullying

Oddly, none of my health problems were openly visible to anyone around me. Virtually everything people knew about me was total conjecture and inaccurate rumors with no factual basis. Unfortunately, facts and reason rarely work with people who are terrified of anyone who is different – whether the differences are obvious or not.

As if I didn’t have enough to contend with at the hospital, at school I was pushed, called names, kicked, hit, had my book bags ransacked, my lockers vandalized and my musical instruments thrown around on the school bus – all to the complete oblivion of school officials. In fact, some stood right there while it all happened, literally choosing to ignore it.

While the majority of the adults around me were supportive and helpful, there were a few who were downright cruel. Teachers, coaches and bus drivers are in a unique position to bully under the guise of maintaining order and discipline. *Despite what the party line might be, each teacher or administrator has his or her favorites – athletes, star students, and so on – who will always get preferential treatment. After all, these adults want (and desperately need due to a horribly low level of self esteem) to be liked by the students as much as the other kids.

A perfect example of this kind of ignorance came in my sixth grade year. I was out of school with a simple case of chicken pox. Noting my absence during roll call, the teacher told the rest of the class they shouldn’t get too attached to me because I had a serious disease and wouldn’t live to see my 15th birthday. With that thoroughly incorrect announcement, the rumors went viral.

So why don’t parents get more involved? Most of the time, parents have no idea what is going on. I never talked about it much. I doubt my parents ever knew how bad it really was.

In the end, I won. Eventually, I realized that it wasn’t my fault that people couldn’t deal with me. At the ripe old age of 43, my health is good, I’m a successful writer and entrepreneur and, despite my sixth grade teacher’s prediction, I am still here.

I carry no anger or malice towards the kids who spent so much of their time trying to better themselves by humiliating me. Oddly enough, a couple of them have already preceded me in death. As for those who are still with us, I actually feel sorry for them and genuinely hope they grew up to succeed in life. The adults, on the other hand, were the true villains.

It was nearly impossible to keep my personal issues private in a tiny farm town where everyone gossiped about things they didn’t even understand. I can’t imagine what kids today are going through as every detail of their lives are posted online for all to see – especially those struggling with personal identity issues.

Sadly, bullies are not just in school and, as I pointed out, adults can be just as bad as kids. A bully can be someone who abuses or oversteps her authority as a supervisor at work, a civic official or a teacher who ignores the academic struggles of a student in class because he or she is not one of the star athletes. Bullies are everywhere but you don’t have to take their abuse.

If you have been the victim of a bully, try to forgive them. They are small, sad and hopeless people who have nothing but pain inside. Forget trying to reason with them, it never works.

Whatever you do, don’t lower yourself to their level. Walk away. Turn off the computer. Seek out help and surround yourself with people who care and who will support you. None of these pathetically insecure people is worth your dignity … or your life.