
Deer In Headlines
By Gery Deer
I was 10 when the Blizzard of ’78 hit our small farm in southwestern Ohio. Holed up in an 8 by 10-foot room of our tiny farmhouse, with no power and only a small, very 1970s cone-shaped fireplace for heat, the five of us survived because of the experience and fortitude of my parents.
It was 36 degrees in our kitchen that first morning and, without electricity, we had no water, and no other heat source. Plus, we had to figure out how to mix formula for 14 bottle-fed feeder calves in the barn. The temperature continued to drop, the wind was relentless, and a seven-foot snow drift sealed our back door.
My father and brother tunneled like gofers from our basement walkout, creating a passable though treacherous path to the barn. Diesel fuel siphoned from a tractor filled nearly every one of our 15 or so antique kerosene lamps. Some provided light while others were placed next to open cabinet doors to warm water pipes. As it turned out, those weren’t the only family antiques that were called into service.
Me, my mother, and my brother’s very pregnant wife, melted snow in large canning pots and used the water to feed the calves – one bottle at a time. It took hours. Oddly, the barn was warmer than you might expect since the walls of stacked hay provided good insulation. Mom also found a way to feed us too. She cobbled together foil packs of vegetables and beef and cooked them in the little fireplace.
On day two, the national guard plowed our quarter mile-long driveway, and my father and brother took one of our farm trucks into the village to get supplies for us and the elderly couple who lived at the orchard across the road. It took them almost eight hours to make the seven-mile round trip. Once they made it back, they didn’t go out again. We had enough challenges at home.
Our electricity was out for almost four days. Over the next year, my father gutted our home’s heating system, replacing the electric oil furnace with a wood-burning version he designed. They also added generators, and a 1905 wood-burning cook stove. They were determined we’d never be so crippled again.
I still use the lessons I learned during that very cold week and the events that followed. Our electricity was knocked out on a more than regular basis, but we were well prepared for most situations, thanks to my family’s know-how and tenacity. As a different kind of pioneer once said, “Failure is not an option.”
This past week, our small part of the world, as well as most of the Midwest and northeastern United States, experienced a similar winter event. As I prepared our home for the coming snow and cold, I was reminded of every moment during that frigid week on our farm all those years ago. For me, it was like my folks were still here because I could hear their words and see their actions in my mind – the lessons of growing up in a remarkable place with uncommon people.
Sadly, it seems to me that such self-sufficiency is less common than years gone by. Instead of a calm thoughtful response to something like a snowstorm, people today seem more likely to overreact. Not even those who take preparedness to an extreme level can be ready for everything. But for situations like this, we have more resources, better access to information, and more reliable infrastructure than anything available a half century ago. Still, most people panic, clearing store shelves of bread and milk, while doing little to adequately prepare.
I’m incredibly fortunate to have grown up at a time and with a family who gave me the knowledge and resourcefulness to look after myself in most situations. Probably like many of those reading this, I take whatever steps I can to manage a situation and try to help others whenever possible. General observers might see my heightened sense of urgency as anxiety, but I’m generally the calm one. Even so, there’s always that thing you didn’t plan on. That’s when improvisation, fueled by experience and common sense, can literally save your life.







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Only at this table.
In Opinion, Uncategorized on March 6, 2026 at 11:20 pmDeer In Headlines
By Gery Deer
It was late evening at a hotel restaurant in Washington, D.C. Most of the restaurant crowd were either deep in their own discussions or had eyes glued to televisions broadcasting college basketball. And there we were. A handful of adults who were born with or a parent of someone with bladder exstrophy, all of us in town as patient advocates preparing to take on Congress.
We laughed and talked, as burgers, salads and something fried occupied most of the real estate between us. Someone had to move a basket of fries so we could make room for desserts and more drinks.
On the surface, we didn’t look so different from anyone else in the room. Just another group decompressing after a long day. But the conversation? That could have only happened there. Only at this table.
Bladder exstrophy is rare – very rare. So, when you’re born with a condition that requires extensive surgery – or surgeries – and lifelong management, there are very few who can relate. Explaining it often brings sighs of pity, confused expressions, and a host of questions.
At this table, there was none of that. We didn’t have to define the anatomy. We didn’t have to summarize childhood surgical histories or explain why insurance preauthorization feels less like paperwork and more like gladiator combat. We could start mid-story.
We compared hospital experiences the way other people compare hometowns. We talked about the benefits and challenges of living with something so unusual it was often hard to explain, even to those closest to us.
That shared experience can lead to its own sort of verbal shorthand. It strips away the introductory chapter and drops you straight into the middle of the book. And shared experiences from birth? There’s no need to tiptoe around things, perform bravery or package vulnerability in tidy language. You can be direct. You can be specific. You can be understood.
There was a moment — and I won’t detail it, because some conversations belong only to those who were present — when the tone softened. Someone shared a memory from adolescence, a time when feeling different felt especially sharp. No one rushed to fix it. No one offered a motivational poster response. Instead, there was safety in letting go, in the expression of feelings and thoughts that only others like us could understand.
It manifests as a shared laugh, or a look, or a nod. It’s not dramatic. It doesn’t require a spotlight. It’s a quiet acknowledgment that says, “Yeah, I know.”
Every community has a version of this table. Veterans find it with other veterans. Cancer survivors with survivors. Parents of children with complex needs with others who speak that language fluently. I experience it whenever I talk to those who have cared for elderly parents. Even journalists have our own version — around a busy lunch counter or late dinner table, arguing about headlines.
The table isn’t about exclusivity. It’s about the rare and deeply emotional relief of not having to translate your life for someone else, and timing matters.
We weren’t children navigating surgeries for the first time. We were adults who had built careers, relationships and resilience. We had come to Washington to advocate, to push for better systems. That context shaped the conversation.
We were recounting the past, but also connecting it to the future. Even more incredible to me was the fact that the congenital flaw that made us the objects of both fascination and ridicule as children was now quite literally our superpower. It was what brought us to Capitol Hill to help others – because we can.
When we finally stood up, games still flickering on the screens and the crowd still rumbling, I looked at that table and felt the weight of its ordinariness. It was just wood and silverware and a stack of dishes.
But for a couple of hours one evening, amid basketball fans and bar noise, it was something far more. It was a place where five people shared something unique to them – an understanding. No, it was more than that. It was something as rare as the condition that we shared, but as unique as each one of us. But only at this table.