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Posts Tagged ‘Jamestown’

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Snow Drifts

In Environment, Local News, Opinion, Uncategorized, weather on February 1, 2026 at 1:34 pm

Deer In Headlines

By Gery Deer

I was 10 when the Blizzard of ’78 hit our small farm in southwestern Ohio. Holed up in an 8 by 10-foot room of our tiny farmhouse, with no power and only a small, very 1970s cone-shaped fireplace for heat, the five of us survived because of the experience and fortitude of my parents. 

It was 36 degrees in our kitchen that first morning and, without electricity, we had no water, and no other heat source. Plus, we had to figure out how to mix formula for 14 bottle-fed feeder calves in the barn. The temperature continued to drop, the wind was relentless, and a seven-foot snow drift sealed our back door. 

My father and brother tunneled like gofers from our basement walkout, creating a passable though treacherous path to the barn. Diesel fuel siphoned from a tractor filled nearly every one of our 15 or so antique kerosene lamps. Some provided light while others were placed next to open cabinet doors to warm water pipes. As it turned out, those weren’t the only family antiques that were called into service.

Me, my mother, and my brother’s very pregnant wife, melted snow in large canning pots and used the water to feed the calves – one bottle at a time. It took hours. Oddly, the barn was warmer than you might expect since the walls of stacked hay provided good insulation. Mom also found a way to feed us too. She cobbled together foil packs of vegetables and beef and cooked them in the little fireplace.

On day two, the national guard plowed our quarter mile-long driveway, and my father and brother took one of our farm trucks into the village to get supplies for us and the elderly couple who lived at the orchard across the road. It took them almost eight hours to make the seven-mile round trip. Once they made it back, they didn’t go out again. We had enough challenges at home.

Our electricity was out for almost four days. Over the next year, my father gutted our home’s heating system, replacing the electric oil furnace with a wood-burning version he designed. They also added generators, and a 1905 wood-burning cook stove. They were determined we’d never be so crippled again. 

I still use the lessons I learned during that very cold week and the events that followed. Our electricity was knocked out on a more than regular basis, but we were well prepared for most situations, thanks to my family’s know-how and tenacity. As a different kind of pioneer once said, “Failure is not an option.”

This past week, our small part of the world, as well as most of the Midwest and northeastern United States, experienced a similar winter event. As I prepared our home for the coming snow and cold, I was reminded of every moment during that frigid week on our farm all those years ago. For me, it was like my folks were still here because I could hear their words and see their actions in my mind – the lessons of growing up in a remarkable place with uncommon people. 

Sadly, it seems to me that such self-sufficiency is less common than years gone by. Instead of a calm thoughtful response to something like a snowstorm, people today seem more likely to overreact. Not even those who take preparedness to an extreme level can be ready for everything. But for situations like this, we have more resources, better access to information, and more reliable infrastructure than anything available a half century ago. Still, most people panic, clearing store shelves of bread and milk, while doing little to adequately prepare.  

I’m incredibly fortunate to have grown up at a time and with a family who gave me the knowledge and resourcefulness to look after myself in most situations. Probably like many of those reading this, I take whatever steps I can to manage a situation and try to help others whenever possible. General observers might see my heightened sense of urgency as anxiety, but I’m generally the calm one. Even so, there’s always that thing you didn’t plan on. That’s when improvisation, fueled by experience and common sense, can literally save your life.

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Slow Down

In Children and Family, Opinion, Uncategorized on January 27, 2026 at 8:42 am

Deer In Headlines

By Gery Deer

Every day I hear people comment about the exhausting pace of modern life. Most of us have felt that strange acceleration where time seems to pick up speed as birthdays pile on. It’s the moment you’re pulling holiday decorations from the attic and swear you just put them away. Of course you didn’t. A full year passed while you were looking at your phone.

Some of that is age, sure, but some of it is engineered. Modern life has a way of nudging us forward faster than we’re built to move, and the most persistent nudge lives in our pockets. The internet, and especially social media, has turned time into a moving sidewalk that never stops. You can stand still, but you’re still being carried somewhere.

I remember my first cell phone that could send text messages and, if memory serves, receive email. At the time it felt revolutionary. I worked outside an office most days, and suddenly important updates could find me without firing up a laptop. It was convenient, efficient, and undeniably useful. This is usually the part of the story where someone asks, “What could possibly go wrong?”

Then the iPhone arrived and the rock started rolling downhill, with all of us sprinting after it. Today we’re permanently connected. Texts, emails, alerts, pings, buzzes, banners, and badges stack up like unread magazines on a coffee table. Studies now link constant device use to anxiety, high blood pressure, and other ailments. The bigger question is why we tolerate it. The answer is uncomfortable. We asked for it.

The more we demand speed and convenience, the more manufacturers and app developers provide. They’re not just selling phones. They’re selling attention, collecting data, and turning it into a high return product. That data fuels more selling, more targeting, and more noise aimed right back at us. This isn’t a conspiracy theory. It’s the business model, printed in very small type.

The byproduct is a permanent state of urgency. Time no longer feels as it once did. Information arrives in six second micro bites, and our brains are expected to digest it like a full meal. But they can’t. We skim, react, and move on. We mistake motion for understanding and speed for knowledge.

We’re all worried about so much – insane politics, societal division, jobs, kids, and the high cost of – well everything. The pressure never lets up. Instead of slowing down to understand what’s happening, we consume only fragments of information and make decisions about our lives with incomplete – or false – information. We don’t reflect. We react, often loudly, and too quickly.

As technology grows more invasive and we become more dependent on it, our reaction time decreases. Important decisions are made without context, sometimes without consideration. That should worry us. I’m convinced it’s one of many contributors to the unsettled mood of the country right now.

So, what do you do? I wish I had a good answer for you. Personally, I’ve been increasingly drawn to the analog and just setting the phone aside whenever I can. Unfortunately, the demands of my work prevent a complete disconnection from social or other digital media. But I write on a manual typewriter at some point in my workday, listen to vinyl on a turntable in my office, and just try to be aware of it all.

Occasionally, I’ll buy a print newspaper and spend several days reading every article. Cover to cover. It’s my way of appreciating the work the writers put into it while absorbing each story. It might seem a bit excentric, but I get the complete picture – without the anxiety that comes with doomscrolling. Plus, I can put it down, then go back to it whenever I want without feeling like I am missing something.

This isn’t about technology, but our resignation to life at a fever pace. Our techno-crutches are just symptoms of a more pervasive problem. We need to slow down. When everything is urgent, nothing is important. And slowing down isn’t quitting. It’s a choice about when to move, listen, or think. That small choice can quietly change the tone of a day, and sometimes an entire life if you let it.

Gery Deer is the editor and publisher of The Jamestown Comet.com and a regional columnist for several other publications.

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When Snow Is in the Forecast, Calm Should Be Too

In Local News, Uncategorized, weather on January 23, 2026 at 8:43 am

By Gery Deer

Editor

By now, you’ve probably heard it. A winter storm is headed our way this weekend, with forecasts calling for up to 12 inches of snow across Jamestown, Greene County, and other parts of the Miami Valley. Cue the dramatic music, the urgent weather graphics, and—if history is any guide—the sudden disappearance of milk, bread, and eggs from grocery store shelves. Not to mention the appearance of the all too familiar grocery store meme of the panicked little kid running with milk and bread in tow.

How about we all just calm down for a minute? A dose of common sense would be great right about now.

Yes, 12 inches of snow is nothing to shrug off. It deserves respect and preparation. But it does not require panic, hoarding, or acting like we’re about to be snowed in until spring. Around here, heavy snow is usually cleared from main roads within a day or two. Life slows down briefly, then it gets back to normal. That’s how it’s gone for decades.

The problem is that winter storm coverage often turns preparation into panic. Words like crippling, paralyzing, and historic get thrown around, and suddenly people are fighting over the last loaf of white bread as if it’s the final one on Earth. We’ve all seen it. We’ve all laughed about it later. And yet, here we are again.

So, let’s try something different this time: calm, common sense.

Here’s what actually makes sense to do.

First, stock enough essentials for about three days. Not three weeks. Three days. Food you already eat, medications you need, pet supplies, and a little extra drinking water. If the power stays on, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll still be fine for a short stretch.

Second, be ready for possible power outages. Heavy snow combined with wind can bring down tree limbs and power lines. Have flashlights with fresh batteries, or candles if you use them safely and responsibly. If you rely on fuel-burning space heaters, make sure they are properly vented. This is important enough to repeat: never run generators, grills, or fuel-burning heaters inside your home or garage. Carbon monoxide is silent, invisible, and deadly.

Third, think about warmth. Extra blankets, warm clothing, and closing off unused rooms can help conserve heat. Even if your home cools down, layers and common sense go a long way.

Fourth, limit travel. If you don’t absolutely have to be on the roads, stay home. Snow-covered roads, reduced visibility, and impatient drivers are not a great combination. Staying put helps snow crews do their jobs faster and safer, which gets everyone back on the move sooner.

Fifth, charge your devices. Phones, tablets, battery packs—anything that keeps you connected. Reliable communication matters in an emergency, and it’s a lot easier to top off batteries before the lights go out.

A few other smart reminders:

• Park cars away from trees if possible.

• Keep your gas tank at least half full.

• Check on elderly neighbors or those who might need assistance—by phone if travel isn’t safe.

• If you shovel, take it slow. Snow shoveling is more dangerous than the snow itself for many people.

And finally—this is the most important advice of all— don’t panic. Not because the news says everything will be fine. Not because someone on social media claims this storm is “nothing.” But because panic doesn’t help anyone.

Be informed. Be prepared. Be smart.

Winter happens in Ohio. It always has. We get snow, we deal with it, and we move on. A calm, level-headed community handles storms far better than a frantic one. So, skip the panic buying, ignore the hype, and focus on what actually matters: keeping yourself, your family, and your neighbors safe.

The snow will fall. The plows will roll. And in a day or two, we’ll all be talking about how it really wasn’t as bad as everyone thought—again.

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Park National Bank names Pat Rastatter Market President

In Business, Local News, Uncategorized on January 22, 2026 at 2:30 pm

NEWARK, Ohio – January 21, 2026. Park National Bank (Park) announced today that Pat Rastatter has been named Market President of the bank’s West Region. He steps into the role previously held by John Brown, who was recently named Chief Retail Banking Officer and Market President of the bank’s Central Region.

“Pat has served our West Region since 2005 and provides exceptional expertise and strong, reliable leadership,” said Park CEO and President Matt Miller. “His dedication to serving customers and communities embodies the values that define Park. I’m confident he will continue to deliver exceptional service and further strengthen our impact.”

Pat Rastatter has been named Market President of Park National Bank’s West Region

Rastatter joined Park in 2005 and has held key roles on the bank’s commercial lending teams, including serving as senior lender for the West Region. In addition to his new responsibilities, he will continue to lead the West Region’s commercial lending team.

“I’m honored to step into the market president role,” Rastatter said. “At Park, our strength comes from the relationships we build with our customers, communities and each other. My focus is on empowering our teams to provide personalized solutions and exceptional care, so we remain the trusted financial partner our neighbors count on.”

Rastatter is actively engaged in Clark County, serving as an elder at Fellowship Christian Church and on the boards of the Friends of the Rocking Horse and the Greater Springfield Partnership. He also previously served on the boards of the Small Business Development Center, Clark State College Foundation and Children’s Rescue Center.

Rastatter earned a bachelor’s degree in finance from Wright State University. He’s also a graduate of the Graduate School of Banking in Madison, WI, and received a Certificate of Executive Leadership from the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

Headquartered in Newark, Ohio, Park National Bank has $9.9 billion in total assets (as of September 30, 2025). Founded in 1908, Park has offices and ATMs in Ohio, Kentucky, and the Carolinas. The bank consistently earns high marks and awards for its service, community leadership, and financial performance. For further information, contact Michelle Hamilton, 740-349-6014, media@parknationalbank.com

Submitted Content

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Sweeping our little corner

In Opinion, psychology, Uncategorized on January 18, 2026 at 8:00 am

Deer in Headlines

By Gery Deer

I was sitting at a traffic light recently in a quiet residential neighborhood when I noticed an older gentleman standing at the end of his sidewalk near the curb. At first, I didn’t pay him much attention. Traffic lights have a way of training us to stare straight ahead and think about the next thing on our to-do list. But then I realized what he was doing, and the scene quietly grabbed hold of me.

He had a broom in his hands and a small container at his feet. He was sweeping bits of debris from the sidewalk—tiny twigs, leaves, whatever had found its way there—carefully guiding them toward that container. In that moment, this task was the single most important thing in his world. Not emails. Not headlines. Not the state of the economy. Just the sidewalk.

The light was at a busy intersection with a turn lane, which meant I had time to observe without feeling rushed. He swept. He bent down. He nudged the container closer. He swept some more. Over and over again. I couldn’t tell exactly which stubborn leaf or twig was refusing to cooperate, but it was clearly holding his full attention. I found myself wondering if it ever crossed his mind how little this probably mattered in the grand scheme of existence.

Did it occur to him, even briefly, that the universe was unlikely to notice whether that last fragment made it into the container? That galaxies would continue spinning regardless of the condition of his sidewalk. Probably not. And even if it did, it didn’t seem to change his focus. The job at hand was the job at hand.

That’s the part that stuck with me. We spend so much time thinking about big goals, big wins, and big moments that we often overlook how much of life is actually made up of very small things. The daily, repetitive, seemingly insignificant tasks that quietly fill our hours rarely make for good stories. They don’t earn applause or awards. Yet they are the substance of our days.

It can feel almost overwhelming to realize that many of the things we work so hard to accomplish have little to no bearing on the cosmos. The email you send. The floor you mop. The weeds you pull. In a broader context, these actions barely register. And yet, to us, in that moment, they matter deeply. They demand our attention. They give us balance and structure.

That thought followed me long after the light turned green. I’ve caught myself thinking about that man while vacuuming my office, cleaning out the basement, reorganizing the garage, or even sitting here writing this column. From a certain angle, all of it could be dismissed as trivial. None of it is likely to make history.

But the more I thought about it, the more I disagreed with that idea. I don’t think these things are insignificant at all. In fact, I think they’re essential. Who we are is shaped far less by our rare, headline-worthy achievements than small actions. And often they matter more than we think.

Sweeping leaves into a trash can isn’t going to change the world. But it might make a sidewalk safer for someone taking a walk. Those leaves might become compost, eventually nourishing the growth of new trees that provide shade, oxygen, and homes for wildlife. The act itself might be therapeutic—a reason to get outside, to move with intention, to feel useful without needing a gym membership or an app to track progress.

There’s a quiet dignity in doing small things well, especially when no one’s watching and no social media attention or commentary. These moments don’t announce themselves. They don’t demand recognition. They simply exist, quietly stitching meaning into the fabric of everyday life. That, I think, is worth noticing.

The point is that we shouldn’t take these tiny accomplishments so lightly. They will never create world peace or settle down our political divisiveness. But, regardless how small, in a sort of butterfly effect, I suppose, each of our actions having a purpose and an influence – we just may never see what that is outside of our little corner of the world.

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“Deer In Headlines” sheds a Roman numeral

In Local News, Opinion, Uncategorized on January 7, 2026 at 12:51 am

Jamestown, OH – In a move that will delight grammarians, confuse absolutely no one, and mildly disappoint fans of Roman numerals everywhere, writer Gery Deer’s long-running column, Deer In Headlines II is officially dropping the “II.”

As it was when it first hit newsprint in 2008, from this point forward, the column will simply be known as Deer In Headlines.

No sequel. No reboot. No director’s cut.

Just Gery Deer and his outlook on the world.

The change quietly debuted with the first edition of January 2026, though longtime readers may have noticed immediately—because readers always notice. Especially when something changes that didn’t really need changing, but made sense anyway.

The original column ran from 2008 – 2018 under the name, “Deer In Headlines.” When Deer restarted the series in 2023, the “II” was added as a nod to the way movie sequels were numbered in the 1980s. However, the designation was never meant to suggest a second act so much as a return engagement. When Deer In Headlines reappeared after a five-year hiatus, the numeral was added to signal both its comeback and a slightly evolved identity—new angles, broader themes, and a tone that reflected the times as much as the writer.

But time, as it often does, flattened the distinction. “My column resonates with readers of all backgrounds and interests,” Deer explained. “It might make you happy, or sad. It can anger you or motivate you. Whatever the response, I’ve done my job and it’s time to keep the brand more cohesive—one or two, it’s all Deer In Headlines.”

And that, in true Deer In Headlines fashion, is the point.

The column has never been about numbering systems. It’s been about observation—sometimes sharp, sometimes sentimental, often inconvenient, and occasionally uncomfortable. It’s a space where headlines become excuses to talk about people, priorities, contradictions, and the quiet moments between the noise.

Over the years, Deer In Headlines has grown into more than a weekly column. It is the lead feature of the online news outlet TheJamestownComet.com, and appears every Friday in the print and digital editions of the Xenia Daily Gazette and Fairborn Daily Herald, as well as the weekly Beavercreek News Current.

The name also anchors the Deer In Headlines podcast, where many of the column’s themes are expanded, unpacked, and occasionally challenged. The podcast often explores the origins of a column, the thinking behind it, and the conversations it sparks—available on most major streaming platforms, including iHeartMedia and Amazon Music.

Dropping the “II” isn’t an ending. It’s not even a beginning.

It’s simply a reminder that whether the headline makes you nod in agreement, shake your head in disbelief, or pause longer than you expected—
it’s all still Deer In Headlines.

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New Year’s Ponderings

In Local News, Media, Opinion, Uncategorized on December 26, 2025 at 8:42 am

Deer In Headlines II

By Gery Deer

With 2026 just around the corner, I was all set to write about the usual New Year inspiration. You know the list. Get in shape. Find the perfect job. Move someplace warm where shoveling snow is only a rumor. Usually, this is the time of year when we convince ourselves that a calendar flip magically turns us into a better version of ourselves.

But after the year we just had, simply making it to the finish line of 2025 feels like a minor miracle. For a lot of people, survival deserves its own parade. So no, I’m not here to rain on your celebration. I’m also not here to sell you on New Year’s resolutions, because we all know how that story usually ends. Somewhere around mid-February, the gym bag becomes a storage container, and the resolution quietly slips out the back door.

What I do believe in is change that actually sticks. Not because it’s trendy, or because someone on social media told you it would make your life perfect, but because it genuinely makes your life better. Let me explain how I stumbled into that lesson.

Not long before the pandemic, I was approaching my forty-ninth birthday while also caring for my father. One evening, I set his dinner plate in front of him and, without missing a beat, he looked up and said, “You’re gettin’ fat, ya know it?” There is nothing quite like blunt parental honesty to take the edge off a long day. He wasn’t trying to be cruel. He was being accurate.

I had gained weight. I was stiff, sore, and tired more often than not. This wasn’t about fitting into smaller jeans or impressing anyone. It was about the slow realization that my body was filing formal complaints. Something needed to change, and the holidays were closing in fast. I had no interest in starvation diets or workout plans that required yelling at a mirror. Whatever I did had to be sustainable.

The first step was figuring out the real problem. I’m not a foodie, so overeating wasn’t the issue. The issue was movement, or the lack of it. I needed to move more, on purpose. So, I started where I felt comfortable. I went to the pool. Swimming has been part of my life since before I could walk, and it felt familiar instead of intimidating.

From there, I added small pieces. Basic core work. Flexibility. A yoga class where I learned that balance is mostly an act of optimism. Eventually, I got back on a bike. None of this happened overnight. It was slow, awkward, and humbling. But I showed up and did something every day.

A few months later, I was swimming two or three times a week, riding a hundred miles on the bike, and doing daily core exercises. It was hard. I mean, really hard. I still don’t love gym culture, but I found my way around it. Over time, the effort paid off. The weight came off, the aches eased, and I even collected a couple of cycling medals.

The real lesson wasn’t about fitness. It was about intention. If you want change, you need a plan, even a simple one. Write it down. Make it realistic. My goal was never “lose twenty pounds.” My goal was “have more energy, less pain, and better sleep.” Not flashy, not measurable, but deeply meaningful.

That approach works for more than health. It applies to careers, relationships, and even how we treat ourselves when things don’t go perfectly. Big change usually comes from small, consistent steps, taken for the right reasons. It doesn’t require January first, fancy equipment, or public announcements. It just requires deciding that you’re worth the effort.

If you’re thinking about making a change, skip the resolution. Choose something that serves your health, your peace, or your happiness. Start small, stay honest, and give yourself credit for showing up. Progress counts, even when no one else notices, and you are capable of more than you think. Keep going, be patient with yourself, and remember that every positive step forward, no matter how small, truly matters more than ever. Happy New Year.

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Extreme Cold Is Coming: How to protect yourself and your home

In Local News on December 13, 2025 at 9:35 am

To protect yourself in extreme cold, layer clothing, cover extremities (hats, mittens, warm boots), and stay dry; for your home, seal drafts with weatherstripping and caulk, insulate pipes, keep thermostats around 65°F (or higher), close curtains at night, and gather emergency supplies like blankets, flashlights, and food for potential power outages. 

Personal Protection

  • Layer Up: Wear multiple layers of loose, lightweight, warm clothing, including a wind-resistant outer layer, to trap heat.
  • Protect Extremities: Mittens (warmer than gloves), hats, scarves, and waterproof, insulated boots are crucial.
  • Cover Your Mouth: Protect your lungs from the extreme cold by covering your mouth.
  • Stay Dry: Change out of wet clothes immediately to prevent chilling.
  • Stay Aware: Recognize signs of hypothermia (shivering, confusion) and frostbite; seek warmth immediately if symptoms appear. 

Home Protection (Preventing Damage & Heat Loss)

  • Seal Drafts: Caulk cracks, use weatherstripping on doors/windows, and add foam seals to exterior outlets.
  • Insulate: Add insulation to attics, walls, and especially around exposed pipes in unheated areas like garages.
  • Protect Pipes: Disconnect hoses, drain outdoor faucets, and wrap indoor pipes in unheated spots.
  • Windows & Doors: Keep blinds/curtains closed at night to trap heat; use plastic window kits for extra insulation.
  • Manage Heat: Keep your thermostat at least at 65°F, use space heaters safely, and consider closing off unneeded rooms. 

Check on Seniors

As always, check on seniors and disabled family and neighbors.

Watch your local news and the National Weather Service for the latest on the cold and snow.

Greene County Warming Centers

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Jamestown Bridge on State 72 over Caesar Creek is open

In Local News on November 14, 2025 at 1:37 pm

The Ohio State Route 72 bridge over Caesar Creek in Jamestown is open to traffic. The main construction project on SR 72 in Greene County, which included pavement repairs and resurfacing, is largely complete as of August 2024. Minor finishing work may still be occurring, but it should have little impact on motorists. 

A workmen clears debris from the newly completed bridge and sidewalks over Cedar Creek in Jamestown on State Route 72.

At an estimated cost of $2,060,000, the bridge preservation project began in late 2024 and completed on schedule. the new three span bridge was expanded from the two span and modified to promote better hydraulic flow of the creek below.

Photo taken from the east (post office) side of the new three span bridge illustrates a more substantial structure, where the old one stood. 

Finishing touches are being completed on the bridge now, but all through traffic, including access to the Jamestown location of the United States post office, and all sidewalks are open for business.

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Happy Expectations

In Local News, Opinion, Uncategorized on October 24, 2025 at 7:41 am

Deer In Headlines II

By Gery Deer

Happiness, expectations, and acceptance. If I’ve learned anything in my nearly six decades of riding this blue spinning ball of water and mud around the cosmos, it’s that everything boils down to those three things.

First, there’s the idea of happiness – which has always escaped me. If you believe all the self-help books, lifestyle gurus, and advertising agencies, happiness is all about meeting needs or wants by a combination of philosophical and material means. Makes it seem pretty easy, doesn’t it? Well, we all know that’s nonsense.

It might sound cliché, but happiness isn’t something you can buy in a store or conjure up simply by deciding today that you’re going to be content. Although there is evidence to show that you can be happier by managing your thoughts, which then alters your feelings, resulting in whatever state of mind you’re trying to achieve. Yeah, that doesn’t sound convoluted at all,l does it?

Happiness is not something anyone can tell you how to reach. I have no clue what it means to you; I haven’t even figured out what it means to me. However, I know what it’s not, and sometimes that’s the best first step. Whatever you do, don’t follow someone else’s idea of happiness, nor should you believe that if you don’t reach it, you’re somehow lacking. That’s ridiculous.

If things need to change in your life for you to feel what you believe is happiness, then do it. Sometimes it’s easy; most of the time, it’s hard. Often, things you need to change are highly dependent on the behavior of others.

Which brings me to expectations. That’s a big word with a lot packed into it. We have expectations of ourselves, whether good, bad, or indifferent. But we also know that others have expectations of us. Ironically, those are much harder to manage because often we don’t know what they are.

People always have expectations of us, but most never share them. We walk around in a constant state of confusion, never really knowing if we’re meeting those expectations or not. It could be a partner, a coworker, a boss, a family member, or whoever. But regardless of the origin, you have two choices.

You can either ask someone, point-blank, what they expect of you and respond as you see fit. Or, you can live your best life and not worry about it. I’m always operating in a combination of both of those things. There are some whose expectations we would likely always going to want to know. That’s probably because they may be closer to us than others, or how we behave or respond to something directly affects their lives in some way. So it’s important that they tell us their expectations. Otherwise, there’s no way we could possibly do anything about them.

Of course, there’s always the very real possibility we can’t do anything about these situations anyway. Some people’s expectations can be entirely unrealistic, even the ones we have of ourselves. That brings me to the final concept – acceptance.

Do you know the Serenity Prayer? While I’m not one to hang my hat on prayers to get through my day, the idea of accepting things that you can’t change, over which you have no control. It’s good advice. Now, if only I could follow it at those times.

When my father died, I was forced to accept it. Five years later, I’m still trying to accept that we did everything possible to properly care for him. Ironically, that’s harder to accept than his passing. Sadly, that’s how it works sometimes. Acceptance can often be simultaneously invaluable and fleeting. However, acceptance also needs to include the positives in life.

I regularly temper my acceptance when good things happen. Part of me always assumes something will come along and mess it up. I spend a great deal of time at odds with that dark, pessimistic side of myself. But, slowly, cautiously, I’m learning to “let it land,” and take the win.

The pursuit of happiness, how we handle expectations, and striving toward some level of acceptance are all incredibly challenging. Each affects every aspect of our lives. Inevitably, it’s your choice how to handle them.