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Daredevil Performances: Is the spectacle worth the risk?

In Education, Entertainment, history, Local News, Media, National News, Opinion, sociology, Technology, television, Theatre, Uncategorized, World News on June 25, 2013 at 6:27 pm

DIH LOGODanger as a spectacle has long been a past time of human culture. Death-defying stunts have graced stages of theatres and circus tents for centuries. Never has there been a more awe-inspiring sight, however, than the dramatic aerobatics of stunt pilots and wing walkers. On Saturday, June 22nd, wing walker Jane Wicker and her pilot Charlie Schwenker died in a fiery crash during a performance at the Dayton Vectren Air Show in Vandalia, Ohio.

Wicker, who had been involved with aerobatics for more than a quarter-century, was sitting on the wing of the inverted plane as it dove, nose-first, into the ground and exploded. The aftermath of the crash left a burning wreck, two people dead and hundreds of spectators horrified.

News of the accident quickly spread around the country, landing on the lead story of every print, broadcast and online media outlet from the New York Daily News to the Huffington Post. Preliminary investigations of the cause of the crash from the Federal Aviation Administration and the National Transportation Safety Board are as yet inconclusive.

The very next day, high wire performer Nik Wallenda spent his evening engaged in a heart-stopping, quarter-mile tightrope walk across a 1,500 foot deep section of the Grand Canyon. As a record number of viewers tuned in to the Discovery Channel to watch, they were treated to more than a half hour of listening to Wallenda continually pray or thank God and praising Jesus with nearly every successful step. One might wonder if they would think he’s crazy too.

Harry Houdini

Harry Houdini

From escape artist Harry Houdini to motorcycle stunt rider Robert “Evil” Knievel, daredevils have long attracted crowds of spectators and generated millions upon millions of dollars for their promoters over the years. While Houdini eventually died of a ruptured appendix, he was nearly killed several times by his own hand as a result of escape attempts gone wrong. Many of his compatriots, like Wicker, were not so lucky; which begs the question, is the spectacle worth the risk? Apparently it is because the public keeps going to see them, like sadistic voyeurs almost hoping to see something go horribly wrong.

Local government, concerned about the staggering level of liability involved, does everything it can to discourage people from attempting these kinds of stunts by requiring miles of paperwork and expensive permits before allowing these kinds of activities on public lands. Some simply don’t allow it to happen at all.

Wallenda’s high wire walk, for example, didn’t actually cross over the Grand Canyon, but the gorge of the Little Colorado River Navajo Tribal Park. His 1,400 foot steel cable was actually suspended over land of the Navajo Nation, near Cameron, Arizona.

Could these daredevils have what Freud called a “death wish,” a desire, often deeply repressed, for self-destruction, accompanied by feelings of depression, hopelessness, and self-reproach? That might be said of Houdini, given his almost obsessive interest in death and the afterlife. But for most everyone else in this line of work, it’s about attention and a desire to push the envelope – that need for the adrenaline rush associated with doing what no one else is brave enough to do (or stupid enough, depending on your point of view).

In the end, there would be no market for these kinds of acts if the public wasn’t thoroughly fascinated by them. As for the performers themselves, it’s probably best to take into account Jane Wicker’s own words.

“Why do I do this? There is nothing that feels more exhilarating or freer to me than the wind and sky rushing by me as the earth rolls around my head,” Wicker once wrote. The day before the crash she told WDTN TV2, “I’m never nervous or scared because I know if I do everything as I usually do everything’s going to be fine.”

For those left behind, there is a great sense of loss when these daring entertainers pass doing what they love. But they will be remembered for their spirit and the smiles on the face of those who sat in awe of their skill and passion to defy the very fabric of nature.

Gery L. Deer is an independent columnist and business writer based in Jamestown, Ohio. More at http://www.deerinheadlines.com.

Acclaimed author and writing guru to present “commercial” writing workshop

In Books, Education, Entertainment, Jobs, Local News, Media, Uncategorized on June 24, 2013 at 5:46 pm
Author, writing guru Peter Bowerman.

Author, writing guru Peter Bowerman.

Cincinnati, OH – On Wednesday, July 24th, aspiring professional writers in western and southwestern Ohio have the opportunity to meet and learn from “commercial” freelancing guru Peter Bowerman, author of The Well-Fed Writer series of books.

From 6:30 p.m. until 8:30 p.m. at School Outfitters (3736 Regent Ave., Cincinnati), Bowerman will present a workshop entitled The Well-Fed Writer: Exploring the World of Lucrative ($50-125+/hour)“Commercial” Freelancing. Admission is $10 per person, cash only at the door and open to the public. The event is sponsored by the Cincinnati Copywriting and Content Professionals, and Western Ohio Writers Association.

In 1993, after a 15-year career in sales and marketing, Bowerman turned his sights to freelance commercial writing (writing for businesses and for hourly rates of $50-125+). With no industry experience, previous paid writing experience or writing background, he built a commercial freelancing business in Atlanta, Georgia from fantasy to full-time in less than four months.

He has published more than 300 articles and editorials, leads seminars on writing and is a professional coach for both commercial freelancing business start-up and self-publishing endeavors.

Bowerman has self-published his five books (three Well-Fed Writer titles, including the quadruple-award-winning 2010 edition; and two in The Well-Fed Self-Publisher series, including the brand-new 2013 update of the 2007 original). His five books have yielded 70,000 copies in print and a full-time living since 2001 (all the how-detail of which is chronicled in TWFSP).

In this 90-minute workshop, Bowerman will explain what commercial writing is, why the field makes sense now, how to build a portfolio, where the work is, what to charge, and more.

According to the founder of the Cincinnati Copywriting and Content Professionals, Alexandria Webb, “I started this group to provide copywriters and content professionals—whether novice or veteran, freelance, in-house, or with an agency — in the Cincinnati area with networking, support, and educational opportunities like this one.”

The Western Ohio Writers Association  is based in Greene County and provides networking and educational opportunities to writers in southwest-central Ohio. Participants attend monthly critique sessions to hone their writing skills through peer feedback, networking opportunities and educational presentations.

Gery L. Deer, professional freelance writer, owner of GLD Enterprises Commercial Writing and director of the Western Ohio Writers Association, noted, “Our organization is about education and enhancing the skills and opportunities available to writers in our area. Professional career support, like Mr. Bowerman’s workshop, is an important part of that mission.”

Those interested in attending are asked to RSVP online at http://bit.ly/195D0FP

Greene County Healthy Lifestyles Coalition To Hold 10th Annual Family Fitness Challenge

In Children and Family, Education, Health, Local News, Senior Lifestyle, Uncategorized on June 13, 2013 at 10:11 am

Xenia, OH – The Greene County Healthy Lifestyles Coalition is hosting its 10th Annual Family Fitness
Challenge on Thursday, June 20th at Shawnee Park in Xenia from 12:30 – 2:30 p.m. The event is FREE and
open to the public. Families and groups are encouraged to attend.

The Fitness Challenge is designed to motivate youth and families to adopt healthier lifestyles—specifically in
the areas of fitness and nutrition. Participants can visit fitness stations and health information booths, complete
a fitness passport and receive a free prize (while supplies last). Healthy snacks will be available.

Partners for the Challenge include the Greene County Combined Health District, the Greene County Healthy
Lifestyles Coalition, Women’s Recovery Center, TCN Behavioral Health Services, Community Action
Partnership, Greene County Parks & Trails, the Greene County Public Library, ZumbAtomic and Fairborn
Kids’ Learning Place. For more information, call Laurie Fox at 937-374-5669.

Local columnist to discuss his long-running print series on WDTN-TV2’s, Living Dayton program, June 18.

In Business, Entertainment, Local News, Media, Uncategorized on June 12, 2013 at 5:09 pm
Deer In Headlines author, Gery L. Deer

Deer In Headlines author, Gery L. Deer

Dayton, OH – Jamestown columnist, Gery L. Deer, author of the weekly editorial column, “Deer In Headlines,” will appear on the WDTN-TV2 program, Living Dayton, at noon on Tuesday, June 18 to talk about the successful five- year run of the series and what readers can expect from him in the future. Originally starting out as a guest columnist in 1993, Deer has had several long-running columns in various publications and served as a Features Editor for the Times newspaper chain for most of 2008.

“My goal is to make people think and, from the feedback I get, I believe I’ve managed to do that every week,” says Deer, noting that he launched a self-syndicated version of the column in 2009 for print and internet publications. “I’m often stopped on the street by a reader who asks a question or gives me their opinion of one of my topics.”

On the television program, Deer will also discuss the differences between blogs and traditional op-ed columns and a possible “Deer In Headlines” anthology book and how readers can participate in choosing past columnist to include in the publication. Distributed by GLD Enterprises, “Deer In Headlines” is published each Thursday on the opinion page of the Xenia Daily Gazette and the Fairborn Daily Herald.

In addition to being a freelance columnist, Deer is also a successful commercial writer and the featured business contributor to the Living Dayton program. For more information, or to watch the show on a live video online during air time, visit http://www.livingdaytontv.com.

Washington Square Shopping Center Announces First Annual Dashapalooza, Saturday, June 22nd

In Children and Family, Entertainment, Food, Health, Local News, Senior Lifestyle, Uncategorized on June 11, 2013 at 2:28 pm

Smoked Ribs_WSQ_2011_0004Washington Twp.  –  The merchants and management of Washington Square Shopping Center are proud to announce the First Annual Dashapalooza – The Party Before the Dash, from noon until 4PM on Saturday, June 22nd in and around the WashingtonSquareShopping Center at Far Hills Ave. and Whipp Rd. in Centerville. The event is free and open to the public.

Dashapalooza is a one-day art and merchant festival on the eve of the 4th Annual Dorothy Lane Market DLM Dash 5K Run/Walk.  Along with sidewalk sales and special offerings from participating merchants at Washington Square, Dashapalooza will feature exciting physical and art-themed activities for all ages.

Participants can barrel down a giant, inflatable slide, express themselves on the monster mural, draw on the sidewalk for prizes in the sidewalk art “chalk off” or take the obstacle course challenge.  Because it is important to “keep it local”, community based artists have been invited to exhibit and sell their work throughout the shopping center as part of the event.

Plus a smoked pulled pork sandwich cookout will highlight just one of many food and refreshment options on hand. Throughout the day, visitors will be entertained by live music featuring the acoustic sounds of internationally recognized Blues Duo, Izzy and Chris.

According to Melissa DeHart, property manager at Washington Square, the majority of the stores are participating in what they hope to make a long-running partner event to extend the excitement and anticipation of the annual DLM Dash.

“Washington Square is dedicated to the community,” DeHart says. “Our neighborhood of merchants, offers some one-of-a-kind places to shop, enjoy great food and even join an exercise group.”

IMG_3128Wendy Preiser is the owner of T-Willy’s Frozen Yogurt Emporium and one of the center’s newest tenants. “Some of the shops are hosting a scavenger hunt where visitors can win some great gift baskets,” she says. “Special deals will be offered throughout the shopping center as well including 25-percent off boxed invitations at the Envelope, one free mini album to each family that visits Moto Photo, a book signing at Tropical Smoothie Café, $10 coupons toward the purchase of “Art to Wear” at Nettle Creek Interiors, and in honor of our runners, energy pops at T-Willy’s.”

Dashapalooza is sponsored in part by Dorothy Lane Market, Up and Running, Boston Stoker, The UPS Store, Montage – The Salon, T Willy’s Yogurt Emporium, Pizza Hut, Knapke Cabinets, Trophy Nut, Nettle Creek Interiors, The Envelope, Utopia Salon & Day Spa, Helms Shoe Repair, Universal 1 Credit Union, Clark’s Home Medical, Moto Photo, Fox Cleaners, and Tropical Smoothie Café. For more information contact Melissa DeHart by calling 937-535-5690 or go online to http://www.dashapalooza.com.

Science and the public benefit from storm chasers

In Education, Local News, Media, National News, Opinion, Science, Technology, Uncategorized on June 3, 2013 at 10:52 pm

Deer In Headlines

By Gery L. Deer

WHIO-TV's weather radar as it appeared on April 3, 1974 approximately 4:20PM as the Xenia Tornado touched down. Notice the "hook" echo indicating the twister.

WHIO-TV’s weather radar as it appeared on April 3, 1974 approximately 4:20PM as the Xenia Tornado touched down. Notice the “hook” echo indicating the twister.

In the 48 hour period between April 3rd and 4th, 1974, the Midwestern United States experienced one of the most devastating tornado outbreaks in history. Known as a “super outbreak,” 148 confirmed tornadoes touched down from Michigan to Alabama and Illinois to West Virginia, with 30 of them in the F4-F5 categories and resulting in the deaths of 300.

One of the most devastated towns was Xenia, Ohio, where a massive F5 funnel tore through the city leaving a mile-wide path of destruction, killing 33 and injuring more than 1,100. The low death toll is attributed to advanced warning provided by WHIO-TV weatherman, Gil Whitney using the first local weather radar system in the Dayton area.

Satellite, GPS and advanced warning networks, along with modern Doppler radar have all helped increase early warnings for tornado victims from less than 3 minutes to more than 15 minutes. Much advancement in severe weather detection might never have happened, however, without the work of the brave men and women who call themselves, storm chasers.

Storm chasers are serious scientists working to increase our knowledge of tornadoes and how they behave. Unlike those depicted in the 1996 movie, “Twister,” however, chasers experience little glory instead spending days and weeks in preparation that may result only in a few moments of tornado spotting.

As you might expect, purposely trying to outmaneuver the proverbial “finger of God” carries with it some inherent danger. Unfortunately, that danger can turn deadly at any moment.

On May 31st, revered storm chaser Tim Samaras, 55; his son, Paul, 24; and meteorologist Carl Young, 45, were killed near El Reno, Oklahoma as they tried to document one of several tornadoes moving through the area. Since their deaths, many have asked, “Is the data gathered from storm chasing worth the risk?” In my opinion, yes, it is.

I’ve always been fascinated by tornadoes. The day after the Xenia tornado of ’74, my parents took me along as they assisted with the cleanup efforts by using our grain trucks to help haul away debris. I never forgot what I saw there. Nor will I ever forget the darkened, green sky and the strange, coldness of the air as the monster storm was passing through. It marked my psyche for years to come.

Possibly the most famous photo of the Xenia Ohio 1974 Tornado. Taken from Greene Memorial Hospital by Fred Stewart.

Possibly the most famous photo of the Xenia Ohio 1974 Tornado. Taken from Greene Memorial Hospital by Fred Stewart.

The experience left me nearly terrified of storms, until one day in 1988, when I was alone at our family farm and stepped outside after hearing tree branches break during a storm. I stood on our front porch, paralyzed, as I watched a small funnel cloud worm its way across the pasture in front of me, parallel to our house.

My ears popped as I stood motionless, surrounded by completely still air except for the slim tube descending from the sky into a swirling mass of dust. With almost no sound at all, it smashed the wooden sideboards of one of our old trucks, crossed the field about a half mile away and totally demolished a neighbor’s barn.

As quickly as it came, it was gone. That day, my fear gave way to a new respect for one of nature’s most dangerous, ephemeral phenomena. Since then, I’ve been within eye-shot of two more tornadoes and educated myself about them as best I could without taking to the road as a chaser.

But, I have the utmost respect – not to mention appreciation – for those who have. While there are probably some storm chasers who are just thrill-seekers, I have no doubt that most are in it for the science and the potential benefit that comes from the effort.

Early warning systems now broadcast through TV, Internet and cell phones, and most air raid sirens have been re-purposed for use as tornado warning systems. Everyone in and around Tornado Alley should remain diligent when severe weather approaches and heed warnings when they are issued.

It’s doubtful we’ll ever be able to fully predict when and where a tornado will strike but, thanks to the work done by storm chasers, scientists can give people a fighting chance to be better prepared.

 

Gery L. Deer is an independent columnist and business writer based in Jamestown, Ohio. More at http://www.gerydeer.com.

Author Shares Journey of Love and Despair as Caregiver for a Mother Ravaged Dementia

In Books, Education, Entertainment, Health, psychology, Senior Lifestyle, sociology, Uncategorized on May 30, 2013 at 1:43 pm

Elaine Pereira yearbookGREENE COUNTY, OH –  Author Elaine Pereira shared the seemingly never-ending journey of caring for her mother stricken with dementia in her newly-released book I Will Never Forget: A Daughter’s Story of Her Mother’s Arduous and Humorous Journey through Dementia (ISBN 978-1-4759-0690-5). The award-winning author will be visiting Xenia for two public events, June 6 and 7.

I Will Never Forget is a powerful true story of the author’s talented mother, Betty, and her poignant and humorous journey through dementia. As their mother-daughter relationship evolves, Elaine copes with her mom’s uncharacteristic verbal assaults and watches as her brilliant mind is slowly destroyed by dementia’s insatiable appetite for brain cells.

Elaine Pereira earned a BS in Occupational Therapy and an MA in Family and Consumer Resources from Wayne State University and worked as a school occupational therapist for more than 35 years before retiring in June 2010. In this moving account, Pereira shares warm and humorous incidents as well as tragic and overwhelming encounters from the death of her father, sister-in-law, brother and her mother’s journey through a new world after her familiar world fades from her memory.

“This is a true story which validates the incredible events that happened in my mother’s life,” says Pereira. “From writing nine checks to the same payee, on five consecutive days, and later on the Great Houdini Escape when she nearly froze to death, Mom’s journey through bewildering dementia is real.

Cover I Will Never Forget 1-15-13I Will Never Forget is educational and therapeutic but is a journal full of insights that will provide helpful assistance and tips to other caregivers of dementia patients. “I want newly-commissioned caregivers to learn from my unwitting mistakes, to realize that reasoning and logic are rarely helpful dialogue techniques with a dementia patient,” explains the author.

“That approach is confrontational and often creates agitation and a fear response in someone. Redirection, re-phrasing, waiting and patience are the most helpful response strategies to diffuse potentially hostile situations.”

During the year long writing process, Pereira was able to put the troubling incidents in her mother’s final years in perspective. “The little problems faded away and the core of her wonderful life surfaced for me. That is how I want to remember her, as she was in my eyes as a child.”

Pereira’s book was named a finalist in the Best New Non-Fiction category of the 2012 USA Book Award and was an honorable mention finalist in non-fiction in the 2012 Hollywood Book Festival and was bestowed a ‘Rising Star’ and ‘Editor’s Choice award by iUniverse. The book most recently won the aging category in the 2013 National Indie Excellence Awards.

At 7PM, Thursday June 6, Pereira will speak to the members of the Western Ohio Writers Association at  Blue Jacket Books, 30 S. Detroit St. in Xenia, Ohio, with an emphasis on how and why she wrote the memoir about her experience. The event is $5 per person, open to the public, and RSVP is requested by emailing the organization’s director, Gery L. Deer, wowainprint@gmail.com

The next evening, Friday June 7, beginning at 7PM, the author will be at Blue Jacket Books, 30 S. Detroit St. in Xenia, Ohio, to speak about the experiences so many people now have in caring for a parent or other loved one suffering the ravages of dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. There is no charge for this event and seating is first come first served. For information call 937-376-3522. The author will be selling and signing books at both events.

Disasters help us appreciate the easy things

In Children and Family, Opinion, psychology, Senior Lifestyle, Uncategorized on May 22, 2013 at 11:13 pm

Deer In Headlines

By Gery L. Deer

What’s your life like? Are you regularly faced with life-changing decisions? Is your life in danger with uncommon regularity? Fortunately, not many of us have to face such situations in our daily routines.

First response officers (police, fire, EMS), U.S. Secret Service agents and military personnel in war zones are probably some of the few groups of Americans who routinely face life-threatening events. For the rest of us, a visit to Walmart can put us into fight of flight mode.

A favorite author of mine once noted that when faced with a completely hopeless, potentially life-ending situation, one should consider how good life has been up to that point. On the other hand, if life hadn’t been so good, one should think about how lucky it is that it won’t be troubling you for much longer. The point is that usually, life’s situations are rarely as hopeless as we think.

Nearly two decades ago, on a beautiful summer day, on a quiet country road in the middle of nowhere, I was faced with just that kind of situation, but it all happened in the blink of an eye. While driving one of our farm trucks to pick up hay, a massive cement mixing truck struck my vehicle, head on, left front fender to left front fender, with unbelievable speed and force.

The power of the collision destroyed my truck and literally cut the front wheels and axle out from under me, burying the frame, nose first, into the asphalt below. A heartbeat later, I was sitting motionless in a shower of debris, dust and glass as the big Louisville Ford crashed to a halt in the hot sun.

Without sounding overly dramatic, had the other vehicle been six inches further to my right when it struck my truck, I’d have been killed instantly. There is much more to the story, but what stands out here is how different your life’s perspective is when you come that close to death. In fact, I actually remember bursting out in laughter.

My father had been in front of me, helplessly watching all of this unfold in his rear view mirrors. As we stood in the street surveying the wreckage, I busted out laughing and said, “My brother’s going to kill me.” After all, it was his truck and he hadn’t had it too long. Oh well, I thought, that’s life.

When faced with life-threatening events like the massive tornado in Oklahoma on May 20th, our perspectives change in an instant and what seemed important one second becomes the last thing on your mind a moment later. Maybe the lesson to take away from these events is about how much we value our day-to-day lives, or rather, how much we devalue them.

Every day without suffering, disease, pain or trauma is a gift. We should appreciate anytime we can just sit back, take a deep breath and think how calm and good life is at that moment. Most of us don’t do that, though.

In our country, we seem to be a little too preoccupied with what we don’t have to appreciate what we do. I remember times at family events when I literally stopped, sat there and looked around, and, like on a camera or video tape, tried to capture the image of family and friends laughing, smiling and being happy to be together, just in that instant. I have stored countless gigabytes of space in my head full of nothing but that – appreciation for the moment.

Admittedly, I don’t do it as much as I should and I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone else who does that. But when life’s hard, or you can’t seem to find the good in a moment, it’s nice to be able to close your eyes and go back to those times to give yourself a sense of peace and calm. It makes you appreciate every moment just a little more.

 

Gery L. Deer is an independent columnist and business writer from Jamestown, Ohio. More at http://www.gerydeer.com

Who am I, and what am I doing here?

In Entertainment, Health, Opinion, psychology, Religion, Senior Lifestyle, sociology, Uncategorized on May 15, 2013 at 12:04 pm

Deer In Headlines

By Gery L. Deer

We’ve all had moments when we’ve turned to someone, a father, a brother, a God and asked, “What was I meant for? Am I doing what I was supposed to do?” It’s a normal exercise for us to question our situation, regardless of its status.

But we have to be careful to realize, regardless of how much we’d like the world to be a mystical place, our own choices landed us where we are and nothing was “meant to be,” that wasn’t directed by personal decisions.

I think it’s pretty normal to think we were meant for something more than we are, at least most of us probably feel that way. What many people tend to miss is how much value their lives have to others and how much would be different in the world without their contributions.

Over the last few years, I’ve written a great deal about my late mother, Lois. She passed away in November of 2011 after long battle with Alzheimer’s disease which among other things robbed her of a lifetime of memories.

Mom wasn’t an overly complicated person but she was very smart and caring, always putting others ahead of her – particularly her children and grandchildren. She only ever worked as a school volunteer, on the farm with Dad and for a time as a waitress in a little hometown restaurant where I grew up.

She might not have had the life people grow up dreaming about, but I’d like to think she felt like she had made a difference in the world. I know she did for me and my family. She didn’t have money or status or important connections, but she had wisdom and a level of understanding of her world and those in it that I truly wish I could emulate.

To some people a basic, down-home lifestyle could seem like Purgatory; a futile, pointless existence. Even though she didn’t have a list of college degrees after her name, nor did she work some high-powered job (unless you count managing my dad), her mere influence upon those around her probably had far greater reach than she ever knew.

In my mind, Mom had the life she was “meant” to live, evidenced by the efforts of those who helped care for her and offer support to our family as her illness advanced. We all have a place in the world and it might not seem like it matters at the time, but we are often more influential than we realize.

Since the kind of work life I have chosen does not lend itself to earning fistfuls of cash, far from it, I have always hoped that my labors have at least helped to enhance someone’s life, even in the slightest. Whether I am making people laugh on stage during The Brothers & Co. variety shows, or passing along my worldly observations in my writing, I always try to give people something that will help make their life better, even if it’s only for a moment. To me, that’s rewarding in itself.

Even when people don’t agree with something I’ve written, the point to take away is that they read it, and it made them think. I don’t want everyone to agree with me, nor am I trying to persuade them to alter their life paths based on my opinion of something. My job is to enhance someone’s life just by giving them something new to think about and that is the accomplishment.

So, a sense of accomplishment isn’t always derived from academic or financial achievement, and in my limited view of the world, it almost never comes from material success. Sometimes just being who you are and contributing to the world around you makes the longest-lasting difference.

Were you “meant” to be who you are, though? That’s a question best left to you. Only you can evaluate your level personal satisfaction from the world you’ve created for yourself. You are who you are, right or wrong. So like I heard once in a song, “This is it. This is life, the one you get, so go and have a ball.” And enjoy being you. It doesn’t matter how you got there.

 
Gery L. Deer is an independent columnist and business writer based in Jamestown, Ohio. More at www.gerydeer.com.

Excuse me; is that your nose in my business?

In Children and Family, Entertainment, Opinion, psychology, sociology, Uncategorized on May 8, 2013 at 2:43 pm

Deer In Headlines

By Gery L. Deer

On "Bewitched," nosey neighbor, Gladys Kravits (Alice Pearce) always got more than she bargained for with her cup of sugar!

On “Bewitched,” nosey neighbor, Gladys Kravits (Alice Pearce) always got more than she bargained for with her cup of sugar!

Fifteen years ago, I was shopping for my first house when I realized I had no idea exactly what it was I wanted. I grew up on a farm with a house smack in the middle of a valley of trees, pasture and corn fields so I was lacking some of the social necessities of being a ‘neighbor.’

I had no idea what it meant to have to “keep up with the Joneses,” and I never saw my mother so desperate for sweetener that she needed to bang on someone else’s door and demand they fill her measuring cup with sugar. I just didn’t get it. And, after a good fifteen years, I still don’t.

Growing up in such isolation taught me self-reliance and a good feeling for minding my own business. Even as an adult, as public as I might seem between my published work, music and television appearances, I tend to be a bit of an introvert. It’s not that I’m unfriendly, quite the opposite, but I just feel like I should keep my nose in my own cupboard and leave others to do the same.

For some, however, that’s not the case. When I first considered a suburban home, I visited several developments and each put me in mind of TV shows of years past. On TV, the houses looked all the same and there was always that one, nosey neighbor who just couldn’t keep off your grass.

Inevitably, I think of Gladys Kravits, the screeching butinsky from “Bewitched,” who spent her day tormenting her happily ignorant husband Abner all about the goings on at the Stevens home across the street. Granted, there were weird things happening on Morning Glory Circle (that’s the street where Samantha and Darren lived on the show), but rarely did those events directly impact the neighbors.

I tend to be an observer of human behavior, which helps me, I hope, to be a good writer. I’ve noticed over the years that the preoccupation of people with the activities of their neighbors can be close to a debilitating obsession.

Constant worry about the concerns of others is, to my mind, ridiculous and kind of neurotic. What if you did nothing all day but ponder such things like … When did John cut his grass – for the tenth time? How did Bob buy that above ground pool when he doesn’t make that kind of money? Do those people have anything else to do but remodel their house every month?

It can get out of control. I’m hoping that level of unwarranted curiosity isn’t the norm but the exception. I would hate to think that my comings and goings were costing a good night’s sleep to anyone but me. That’s not to say that even rural suburbs don’t offer some level of low-brow entertainment of a kind that would even sour Jerry Springer’s sensibilities.

Fortunately, where I finally chose to buy a home turned out to be the perfect fit for me. But I know people who live in suburbs where you can’t make a move without someone commenting on it or having an opinion to gossip about. I’m sure it happens everywhere, but I think people should spend their time worrying about their own lives and stay out of the affairs of others.

If the concerns of those around you occupy your thoughts more than your own actions, it might be time to take a look in a mirror instead of out the front window. Being nosey isn’t the same as being neighborly.

Thoughtful compassion for a neighbor with a sick parent or welcoming a new baby is not the same as feeling the compulsion to always see what’s going on next door. It’s important for people to know the difference and respect those boundaries.

 

Gery L. Deer is an independent business writer and contributor to the WDTN-TV2 show, “Living Dayton.” More at http://www.gerydeer.com