Deer In Headlines II

By Gery Deer

Last night, I dreamt I was in front of a door with a sign. I pushed and pushed on that door, and I pushed, and I pushed. Then, I finally noticed that the sign, positioned over some keypad, read, “Please enter your password.” 

From what I remember—it was a fuzzy dream at best—I tapped in something on the keypad. That was instantly answered by a blinding, flashing light and a horrendous honking noise. I tried another code. Same result. Then, a third, no change. The honking continued. 

Suddenly, a sign lit up in front of me. “Please use two-step verification,” it glowed. I woke up. The horrible honking sound was my phone alarm. The irony is that I had to punch in a password to make it stop.

Passwords. They help keep your information secure. Still, they remain a constant source of frustration whether you’re trying to download coupons, make a simple phone call, or get access to your hard-earned money trapped behind the screen of an ATM. 

Digital security measures can create an endless and unbreakable barrier to some of the simplest aspects of day-to-day living. And then what happens? Someone in Brazil hacks your bank account and charges a parasailing to your credit card. Seriously?

If all of that isn’t enough to make you throw your cell phone at the wall, now we have artificial intelligence demanding some cybernetic confab before allowing even the most innocuous transaction. It’s even more frustrating if you happen to be part of the older generation, including mine, who were suddenly and unabashedly confronted with these technologies. 

I remember the days when, to withdraw some money from the bank, all you had to do was walk into your local bank, show a picture ID, give them your account number, and sign a piece of paper. That might sound complicated, but the whole process took less than a minute. If there was a problem, you were standing in front of a person who could solve it. You didn’t have to spend two hours proving who you were to some AI bot to withdraw 10 bucks. I know I sound like some grumpy old Luddite. I am, instead, quite a technically skilled person and even I concede that it’s become ridiculous.

Recent surveys indicate that the average person reuses the same password more than 14 times across all their digital accounts. So, it’s no surprise that, believe it or not, all that mucking around with passwords, usernames, and account verification can result in a potentially serious health issue known as password fatigue.

This phenomenon occurs when functionality and security conflict directly with the user’s perspective. We develop frustration, stress, and exhaustion from having to reset, remember, or otherwise manage an onslaught of passwords and other account security information.

How could we not experience stress from all of this? Sometimes, you just want to unlock your mobile phone but can’t manage to properly punch in the correct numbers. It locks. You wait the required time. Try again and again. Finally, it works. Your pulse and blood pressure have skyrocketed, your shoulders tense, and a simple phone call has become a project. 

You’ll hate this advice, especially after all you’ve read here. But there are only a few ways to stay safe, or as secure as possible, in our cyber-consumed world. First, you can go entirely analog and off-grid. It’s not impossible, but it’s tough – especially when banking or handling healthcare issues. The other option is to minimize your stress by keeping a written – pen and paper – password log.

But you must be diligent. Since the best advice for cyber safety is to change your passwords often and make them increasingly complicated, you need to write them down and date-stamp them with every change. It would also benefit you to designate someone you trust to access your accounts in the unfortunate instance of your incapacity or death.

It might seem challenging, but with a little pre-planning and diligence, you can reduce your password fatigue moving forward. And with that, although I’m a bit sleep deprived, I will try to get some more work done. Fortunately, no password is required on a typewriter.