Deer In Headlines II

By Gery Deer

Some kids in school have a built-in homing device for bullies. I was one of those kids. I was ten when I started my fifth-grade year at a new school. It was great for the first couple of months. My teacher was nice. The homemade-style country food in the cafeteria was fantastic. I mean, biscuits and gravy for lunch. How amazing is that? My schoolwork was going well, and I even made a few friends. But things changed pretty quickly—for the worse.

Being new was the first thing that automatically marked me as target zero for the persecutor of the week. I was fresh meat. Unless they were influential athletes or just scary, the new kids always got subjugated first. There is nothing like a playground shakedown for milk money on the first day of school. Yikes. The worst part was that my oppressors didn’t even buy milk with it. Oh, come on.

Next, I was smart – too smart, it seemed. After all, nobody likes a kid who waltzes in from nowhere and changes the grading curve. Seriously? Couldn’t those losers have just cracked a book once in a while? Or maybe if they’d actually listened during class… bygones. Eventually, I just didn’t care anymore. From that time forward, my grades rose and fell like yo-yos.

Also, I was “sick” a lot. At least, that’s what everyone said (even the teachers). There are few things worse than a bully. However, one worse thing would be when faculty members went along with the abuse (and there were many of them). No joke. Sometimes, they made it worse by reinforcing kids’ ridiculous ideas about me.

I’ve written many times about the fact that I had a severe birth defect, which required a couple of major surgical procedures every year until I was about 13. I know, bummer, right?

However, my parents and the doctors did their best to give me as normal a life as possible, scheduling procedures around my academic calendar. Occasionally, surgeries were scheduled during the school year, which meant I’d sometimes miss a few days. Once kids got wind of this information, my tyrannization value skyrocketed.

I had no cane, prosthetic, wheelchair, or any other sort of apparatus to suggest that there was anything wrong with me. I think that confused students and faculty alike. Maybe they expected someone who’d been through so much to exhibit more visible signs of it? The truth is, I was never weak or infirmed. After surgery, they had me up and around almost immediately – not that they could keep me in bed much anyway. So, I recovered quickly.

Unfortunately, rumors and false statements made by teachers confused things further and left my classmates anxious about being around me. From there, the bully brain (that’s what I called it) distorted the facts even further. All I ever wanted was a supportive, positive school experience. But that just wasn’t in the cards for me. Even my bus rides to and from school were unbearable. Worse yet, thanks to the internet, today’s bullies can torment victims anywhere, anytime.

In theory, nobody likes a bully. The idea that it’s become politically correct, woke, or whatever the term, to be anti-bullying seems ridiculous. I guess I’ve never understood what kind of person would favor bullying in the first place, except maybe the bullies. I could write an entirely different piece on that question.

So, what’d I do about it? Almost nothing. “Did you tell the teacher?” My mother would ask. Exactly how much did my parents dislike me? Did they want me to get the crap beat out of me repeatedly? If you’re going to snitch, you might as well wear a big sign saying, “Hey, I’m over here. Come, beat me up!” But that’s what parents always want you to do.

Bullying isn’t funny. It’s neither a rite of passage nor acceptable behavior.  As for me, I hold no malice toward the kids who bullied me, but I still have nothing but contempt for the school officials who allowed it. No one should have to endure that kind of trauma, and the powers that be should better protect our kids, whether in school or online.